Alex from SMPR – First Day of School

I FEEL SO UNPREPARED! My first class of comedy medical school starts in last than a half hour, and I’m not even close to ready! I better think of my excuses right away… Uhm, I overslept! My mom ate my alarm clock! I ran out of beans! Okay one of those should do. I’m feeling better now. I can finally concentrate on getting prepared.

I guess a good first step would be to get out of bed. There, I totally got up. My first victory of the day. Now to complete my usual morning routine in record time whilst letting my mind ponder…

This world is such a bizarre place. Newsanchor Bunny (the top-rated bunny news anchor) says that a record number of law enforcers are quitting their jobs and are switching to comedy medicine, which means I’ll probably have some former cops in my class. I wonder why though! Something about an evil genius scientist who –

I just realized I’ve been brushing my belly button instead of my teeth. Wow I know it’s not toothpaste’s intended use, but wow my naval never smelled so fresh! Anyways, some evil scientist apparently is gradually opening weird “interdimensional portals” around the world. Newsanchor Bunny (voted top bunny at this year’s News Anchor pageant) thinks it might be just the beginning before something insanely catastrophic happens. Interdimensional…? Maybe that explains Cerberus, the evil 3-headed dog that just moved in next door. I’m sure I’ll be careful not to lose things over that fence…

Tarnations! How did I end up back in bed! It’s just so flipflappin’ comfy here. Plus I’m not used to having such an annoying obligation. I don’t know if I really want to be a comedy doctor. I just feel like I need to be one because that’s what everyone told me growing up. They’re all like, “Blah blah handsome Alex. Comedy medicine is a quickly changing field and I know that you’re sure to shake things up with your handsome and unique brand of humor and catchphrases!” So I figure I should say to myself what I said to all of them: I’ll try harder than a waffle salesman on free flapjack day!

…zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz…

InnerWarrior Author